Now that I’m living in a Little House on a Prairie, beating my clothes on rocks in a stream, and hanging everything up to dry, I am a walking tower of static electricity. I don’t know how, but the clothes dryer somehow sucked all the static out of my clothes. And now it’s back! If I jumped up against a wall, I bet I’d stick. Everything I touch snaps with a a shock. When I get dressed or undress, it’s like a maraca band with the snaps and pops. I’m a little worried about pumping gas. Ker-Blam! I hope I don’t have one of those X-Files-like episodes where I suddenly combust and turn to a pile of ash. That might be bad for my chi.