Where’s the lie?

Aw hell no!

I arrived home last night to Mr. K being a hausfrau with pork chops in the oven. We had dinner on the couch watching Ted Lasso. I still think the story is weak – almost not there at all*? – but the characters are endearing and there are lots of laugh-out-loud moments. Mr. K seems to revel in the sporty moments, but y’all know that does nothing for me.

*Secretly clinically depressed, outwardly Pollyanna, and recently divorced dude mysteriously relocates to UK with his beer buddy and hijinks ensue?

We were in bed early, and I got a super busy day ahead. I’m booked solid until like 8 pm! Lots of exciting news coming soon!

Being obsessed with my weight is not on the summer vision board.

Unlike my neighbor who is constantly frying some Asian dish that smells like rotting cajun fish and fresh manure with her door open, Nappy Knolls still smelled like the lemon blueberry cake I baked yesterday when I got home from work. Lovely!

Most important purchase of 2026?

Ugly shoe update

Mr. K turns fifty in May – I’m robbing the cradle! For his birthday, I’ve booked a road trip adventure that I hope he finds super fun. Since he’s diabetic, all the cake if for me. Wee!

My Guardian Angel Susan – and the foot of snow still on the ground and in the forecast – is telling me to hold off a week or two on having my snow tires removed. Last year I did it on schedule and ended up having to drive through a blizzard with summer tires, terrified and sliding all over the road. So I’ll wait a bit. Climate crisis!

Cut to me at work

Mostly as a colon health experiment- and not because I am very much hungry in the morning or even like cereal – I am trying to choke down one cup of high fiber high protein cereal in the morning. I was buying cinnamon Protein Cheerios. But with the cost of everything double – cereal more like tripled! – I’d been keeping my eye out for deals. It seems like Kashi brand is actually cheaper by unit than boring ol’ Cheerios now. Which is kinda shocking since Kashi is a boutique health brand. And it has more protein! I have to be careful because cereal can destroy my gums, and Cheerios doesn’t seem to be too terrible at that. So I’m taking Kashi for a spin but may go back to the Protein Cheerios if I don’t like it. We’ll see.

I probably learned this lesson before, but now I’ve learned it again. Do not buy all the books in a series based on reviews before completing the first installment. Some books are not my cup of tea, and I’m too old to slog through books I don’t enjoy.

I took Mother for a drive to the Amish store yesterday. I got some of the yummy hot corn chips and a variety of other goodies.

Shrinkflation Update! These tiny 7 oz cans of soda are sending me!

Project Hail Mary was good. Real good. I laughed. I cried. Even Mr. K liked it, and he didn’t read the book. There was clapping at the end. Go see it now!

At Project Hail Mary

We are going to see my other boyfriend Ryan Gosling in Hail Mary tonight. Excited! It’s getting great reviews, and the book was phenomenal.

Wednesday to Wednesday vacations are fun because you have a weekend away. But then a HARRIBLE short work week upon return. This week was not fun, and I’m thrilled it’s Saturday. I am so very behind on chores and sleep, and my digestion and mental health have been on a roller coaster. I’ve been walking around like a zombie on the verge of crying or vomiting* for days.

*Why does Apple Intelligence not know how to predict-spell vomiting? Is this some woke teen protection bullshit? Ugh! I hate people.

Now that I know I’m staying put at the Brown Bakery for a while, I’m pondering making some in-flight changes before I land in retirement. I am thinking about buying a house. Wait? What!? Hear me out! I love Nappy Knolls. It’s a great location with zero maintenance, and I’ve worked so hard to make it perfect. It’s my little art-filled glittering palace. However, it is rather expensive to live here – probably the most expensive real estate in my town. I’m surrounded by all the local doctors, lawyers, and teachers sitting on a dragon hoard of cash. I have a great job and can afford living here fine. But if I stop working I need to think about economizing. Plus, there are things I miss. Like having a yard. Sitting outside to drink my coffee. Having chirping birds at a feeder. Having a place for a bike or a kayak. There are 101 things that are lost by living in an apartment building that you don’t really think about until they are gone. Are they critical? No. But they are part of one’s quality of life, and I do miss them at times. Plus, if I’m going to make room for Mr. K down the road, it can’t be here at Nappy Knolls. It’s too small, and I’d stab him in the neck within a day if he moved in. I need space to retreat and play with my craft supplies quietly for hours-on-end undisturbed. Mr. K is an ADD whack-job who is always hyper, talkative, and needing to be occupied. This makes him super cute and fun … for a while. But I also need quiet and solitude at times. He knows this and is fine with giving me that. But being strategic about space is part of us figuring that out together. Will this happen tomorrow? Probably not. But I’m putting the pieces in place to make that an option should an opportunity arise.

In unrelated news, even though there is still a foot of snow on the ground, the cards are telling me that it’s time to have my summer tires put on the car.

Next puzzle

Puzzle done

Seeing my friends frolic at a tropical resort in their cute waterfront condo without a care in the world made me ache to retire just a smidge more. Their path is not for me – I’m not a beach person for more than a visit – but the freedom seems nice.

I asked the Ai at Boldin what would happen if I retired today. Here is her answer. “Retiring today is a very real possibility for you! In this hypothetical scenario where you stop working immediately, your confidence that your money will last through retirement is 95%, compared to 99% in your current plan. While your projected estate value at age 89 would decrease by about $1.26M (from $6.41M to $5.15M), you still avoid running out of savings entirely. Your retirement income-to-expense ratio remains healthy at 1.05, meaning your projected income still covers your planned lifestyle. One thing to keep in mind: retiring now means you’ll be bridging the gap until Social Security starts at age 70 solely with your portfolio. How would it feel to trade that extra $1.2M in legacy for two additional years of freedom right now?“

I am literally the only person in the Brown Bakery building today. The parking lot was empty, and my entrance triggered all the motion sensor lights. It’s always a weird feeling. Newsflash! I did not get the job at the Local Bakery. Womp! Womp! It was a longshot, and I am truly blessed with a great job and people I like. My commute sucks, but it is what it is. I am thus sticking with Plan A: accumulate a mountain of cash and retire in January 2028. I am still concerned about the structure and expectations here at the Brown Bakery. But I am not shy and will push back if/when MLB makes firm plans to retire. I think that’s still a year or two out, but regardless, I will let leadership know that I am not interested in being her heir which would essentially double my responsibilities and work load, and result in my having direct reports which y’all know gives me a rash. I am much more immediately concerned about organizational changes at the Brown Bakery which have shifted a few more divisions under our umbrella. I suspect this means we’ll be taking over their financial reporting responsibilities also. That smells like a lot of work. Will we be hiring more people or will that all magically become my job? We’ll see how it goes.