Vaping

The inspector said that he recommends putting a plastic vapor barrier on the dirt floor of basements in old houses to inhibit the ability of moisture from evaporating from the floor into the space. Huh? I’d never heard of such a thing? But Google says this is a legit good idea. I thought I’d heard it all? I will investigate the feasibility of this soon. It seems like something that would be easy and cheap to do / have done. The basement isn’t usable space but it does have the furnace and hot water heater. It’s damp and gross. This is bad for the house as the years go by and moist air envelopes metal and wood things. He said dehumidifiers don’t work for this type of basement even if it ran around the clock. It’d be like bailing out the titanic with a teacup. My first house had a stacked stone dirt floor basement, so I’m familiar with the issues. That house had windows which I kept open seasonally for ventilation, but I don’t think this house does? I’ll ask Mr. K. He seems to have a photogenic memory of where everything is in the new house. I’m like, yeah? I think it had a front door? My mind is too busy thinking about Madonna’s dance moves in the 1983 Lucky Star video to commit things to memory.

Time

Rather than letting my frantic schedule and inability to devote time to my new craft project get me down, I’ve decided to devote an itsy-bitsy-dollop of time to it daily. I set a timer and focus on it for one-half-hour only. I’m designing some new products for my amazon and etsy stores, and it really could eat up ten hours a day for weeks. But I don’t have that amount of time. This way, I move a bit ahead and don’t lose track of it. But I am also able to do other things like wash my crack and sleep.

In related news, Mr. K’s landscaping friend says it will cost about $1,500 to have the yard razed, all vines removed from the house, and haul it all away. That sounds like an absolute steal to me. It’ll be nice to start with a blank slate.

The Word

Now that my windows are open, I wonder if my ninety year old neighbors can hear me scream the c-word when I’m fighting with a work report?

Pizza

I know y’all have been x-ing off the days, but my summer zit face from the humidity has arrived! #GetThisLook

Gadget

The home inspection has been done. Nothing made me jump out of the chair. It’s your standard 150 year old house things. Moisture, oldness, uneven floors, etc. And mouse poop! Nothing that some duct tape and caulk cannot fix. And a truckload of rodent poison. Bye bitch!

VH

This is what the back of the Vine House looks like. The big clump on the left is a runaway outbreak of bamboo. It’s also along the back fence. I hope the nitwit who planted it decades ago rots in hell!

Living Larga

Mr. K using Ai magic to imagine the kitchen with cupboards painted sage, an island, and butcher block counters installed. Here’s a before and after.

Yard

For those of you monitoring the new yard from space, here’s kinda what it looks like. I’ll try to get some video and pics tomorrow. You can see it’s gigantic – almost a triple width lot compared to the neighbors? It’s flat and surrounded by trees, bushes, and privacy fence on all sides. I can’t wait to get back there and play duck-duck-goose!

Quarter

Someone at a meeting just said “first quarter of the century” and my mind went “Huh?” The I felt old.

Scratch

I’m feeling scratchy. I hope working 80 hours a week isn’t making me come down with something. In related news, I’m training Mr. K how to clean. We’ve had some mild successes.

In house news, the inspection is Thursday and then I meet with the bank guy on Monday. My legal team is reviewing the contract. Amusingly, nearly everyone involved with the house deal is unintentionally gayer than a two dollar bill. #PrideMonth #GayAgenda #DeepState It’s funny how The Universe lines things up for me.

Dance Off

I think I walk sexier when I’m listening to music. There I said it! Get a slice of this!

Growth

It’s almost impossible to tell from the photos, but the garage is attached to the house and connects to the kitchen. The part where it attaches is circled in this photo. There’s also another entrance door there. It’s so overgrown with vines and weeds, it’s hard to see. This is also kinda what the back and other side of the house looks like also.

Birdie

The birds outside are riotous this morning at dawn. Lort! I can’t wait to have a yard with a bird feeder. In related news, I need to turn off all my zillow alerts. I don’t want to second guess as more houses come on the market. We have an accepted purchase offer and that is that. I can turn them back on in a few months when I want to armchair monitor the real estate market. Oh, for the record, Mr. K said that I can use the back rooms of the upstairs – that I suspect used to be a small (mother-in-law?) apartment – to run my #BookmarkEmpire.

Disco

Let me know when it’s ok to flip out about buying a house and moving. I’m too busy to focus on it right now. I’ll wait for your signal. Danki!